Spring Cleaning

Since the beginning of the week, I've engaged in various bouts of 'spring cleaning', otherwise known as chucking shit that I don't need away. I've just started going through a diary that I had waaay back in Yr 8 (that's 1995, people!) with a whole lot of quotes, and figured I'd stick'em here for posterity.


Mrs Leather (Yr 8 science teacher):
[on the malleability of metal] You could probably pound the bridge down before the police stop you.

Mrs Sonntag (Yr 8 English teacher):
[On John's agony column] "Dear John, I've found Fred; he's better"

"Everytime I start on poetry, that little man starts up his lawnmower. It's true!"

Mrs Padman:
[exasperated] "Stop being what you're being"

"Catherine, do not break out into song."

Mrs Stevens (French teacher in the UK):
"Alice, you look as if you've just seen a big pile of sick"

Ms Gouge (English teacher in the UK):
"Supercilious: looking down your snout like a camel"

"This is what get's up Jane's metaphorical nostril"

"Wiping her snout - oh, her nose - on a discarded cabbage leaf ..."

Biological philosophy:
Georgina: "If you didn't have an outer ear, you couldn't see."
Mr Smith: "What?"
Georgina: "Your glasses would fall off."

Philosophy
Alex: "Philosopher's have nothing better to do than sit around and think up problems for everyone."

... and finishing up with two from the great Billy Connelly:

"I do seven sit-ups a week. In the morning, I get up; at night, I lie down. It adds up."

"You should never trust a man, who if he's sitting alone in a room with a teacosy, doesn't try it on."