Changing a stream

After receiving the offer from the group in Freiburg, the very real business of weighing up the pros and cons of going over there is now being made in my mind. Well, to be more accurate, on the piece of paper in front of me. I started going through them in my mind on the plane from Singapore, but I've been on too much of a buzz for the last two days to seriously sit down and work out how I feel about what the reality of making such a move.

In some ways it's funny. Perth Guy has been offered a one-year scholarship at Oxford and has absolutely no qualms about jumping to the offer. And he's not the only one. Shelie (Better than Bradman) moved down to Melbourne to start her postgrad after tossing up between there and Newcastle. I remember her deliberating for a while about it, and silently going 'C'mon, you know you want Melbourne!': I couldn't understand her process of consciously making sure she was making what was for her, the right choice. Now, of course, I'm sitting on the same side of the table and I understand it all too well.

A lot of my questioning comes from the realities of living so far away from that which is familiar. As a backpacker, I have absolutely no qualms about doing this, and living in a foreign place for a reasonable amount of time (until I'm essentially a local) is firmly on my List of A Hundred. However, moving so far awawy for what is a pretty substantial length of time (and if you believe Cleo and those other crap women mags, my 'optimum years', whatever the fck that means). However, I like the place, and I liked the project: so my question is what is the equation and what is the metric?

Part of the problem was that the London group were too well connected and too closely knit, which makes it a little bit diificult in not regarding Freiburg as a set-back (which of course, it's not). London group were on the same level as MIT and the rest. Freiburg isn't, and I'm measuring this on purely on terms of ego. London were in a really good position and they knew it. Freiburg are just starting up and are working hard, but have to keep at it to keep the momentum (shall we guess which is privately funded, and which is funded on research grants by the govt??)

One of the big things I noticed was that people in Freiburg were so quiet. The way the building was set out made it difficult for the random meetings and chatter that marked London groups. To be honest, I think it's really important to have that background noise - not for the noise itself, but because it signals that people are communicating and talking and sharing and working together.

One of my favourite phrases is "you change a stream by walking into it", and it really is true. Perhaps it's really not as quiet as I saw it - who knows? it's difficult to tell from being there a couple of times, and they're trying to recruit more PhD students in the oncoming months. But if it is really like that, then if I'm there I can help to change it - that is, if it's better for everyone and not just me making a whole lot of unwanted noise.

And hopefully I won't just be getting my feet wet.