Validation

There are only a few number of things that make me feel happier than that feeling that you get when you think that you've made a bad choice, but the response of the people affected when you've made that choice ends up ensuring that you are so, so, so glad that the choice has been made in the end, and you end up having no regrets.

Let's take an example: I quit my job at the cafe yesterday.

Now, this is something that had been playing on my mind for a while. While some of the people that I had to deal with were cool, the fact that I had to halt my masters and my life weren't big drawcards, really. And the bottom line is: I didn't particularly like the work. My attitude to it most of the time (and I realise this is unprofessional) is that it didn't matter if I swept the floor so it was sparkling; tomorrow, it would get dirty again. It didn't matter that the coffee I took to someone's table was slightly spilt; they'd drink it, and would most probably spill it anyway. It didn't matter if the food I took out had been waiting there for an extra 5 seconds because I had to get from this side of the badly designed counter to the other (and how silly of me not to pre-empt!); it would pass through and out the digestive tract in 24hrs. These weren't things that were going to change the world, but only leave a slightly warm feeling in people. Which can be important too - hey, I like going to cafes too, remember?

I would have been cool with working there for a little bit longer, but the straw that broke my back was Woderick, the owner. He's not a bad guy, and he's not a bad owner. But he's not a great boss. The fact that he could be inconsistent (he got angry at a guy for only giving a couple of days notice for work unavailability, but still got angry at me when I gave two weeks - huh?); the fact that he wouldn't be aware of people's efforts and end up insulting them; and the fact that I had no respect for him.

The biggest straw (almost a bamboo stick) was the other week and there was a COFU (Coffee-Order-Fuck-Up). I'd been on till and Woderick was making the coffees but wasn't at the machine when the order was placed. The customers were CDDs (cheap, difficult dickheads) - you know the sort, the ones that when told the price ask for a breakdown and then, after talking for a minute about how important it was that they had decaf as they didn't want to stay awake all night, turn around and scrap the decaf because it costs an extra 50 cents? Yeah, you know the ones. Well Mr and Mrs To-Decaf-Or-Not-To-Decaf spent about 30 seconds explaining what sort of coffees they wanted which made me laugh because it was the default for how the coffees are: "I want a long black with no milk". Yes, yes you do. I stopped laughing when they were sent back and Woderick started shouting at me for not taking the order properly.

"I did take the order correctly"

"Well you mustn't have read it back to them which you should have in accordance to the Laws of the Cafe" (ok, I added the last bit, But there is a list. McCafe, A OK)

"I did read it back to them and they didn't have a problem with it"

"Well the customer must be lying." Insert sarcasm as appropriate.

The truth of the matter was that the customer wasn't lying, but neither was I. Communication is a large part of the world and to communicate effectively, you have to have the right vocab. And to waiter effectively, you have to be a mind-reader. See, the inability of Mr Decaf to tell me what he wanted because he didn't know how to express it should have sent big alarmbells off in my head, asking him whether he wanted this and that and the other, because while the customer is always right, he's only occasionally correct. So that was my lesson learned.

The bamboo whacking part of the above scenario illustrated to me these points:

• Losing your cool and abusing your staff in front of customers: not good.
• Being sarcastic: not good.
• Coming back and asking me exactly what had happened, in a cool calm collected manner: good.

End score: no respect for Woderick. And that's not going to change because he's not going to change. And as owner, he ain't going anywhere.

So the bamboo (and the early early starts and long days and no weekends or social life) suggested to me that I should quit at the cafe, which by the ends was the only thing that allowed me to get through my day: "Your coffee, sir, (to self) and I'm leaving." Yesterday was the day because I received confirmation of financial support while I finished off my Masters the day before ... so at the end of yesterday's shift, I went in to speak to Woderick.

I explained clearly and simply that I was resigning because of my uni work; no bamboo mentioned. I'll admit I was nervous - while i don't like working with Woderick, working for him is ok and I didn't really want to let down the rest of the team. So I offered to work next week if he had any problems filling shifts. He said no, that that could be my last day. I said I'd wash and drop my apron off next week, and pick up my pay for today. He said fine. I said good, and that I guess I'd better go. And then came the Point of Validation: he turned back to his computer and started wiggling with the Inbox and muttering to himself about why it didn't work. No handshakes, no goodwill. Just a monkey at a typewriter.

It was the point that I realised I'd made the right decision and that I didn't care about what he thought or said or did. And I felt good again, as I picked up my apron and bag and walked out of the back of the cafe into the alley way where all our bins are. The garbage never smelt so good.

- el j